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  • Writer's pictureMit-z Youlanda

Mothering My Sons

Updated: Aug 8, 2023

Raising my sons to be men that your daughters don't have to recover from!

One day your daughters are going to introduce you to my sons. She's going to say he's loving, God-fearing, educated, kindhearted, a leader, a go-getter! I will make sure of that. I take great pride and joy in raising my sons to be loving, goal-oriented, striving individuals. "

"I am first a mom before I am anything else in this world."

The biggest job I have as a woman is raising men and teaching them to be in touch with their sensitivity and allowing them to feel the full spectrum of their emotions. This is the greatest gift we could give them, their future partners, their children, society and the world.

Boys don't need to be raised tough in this world; they need to be raised as compassionate, caring, sensitive, loving and kind human beings. How else do we break the cycle of men suffering silently under all the pain they've had to bottle up and then applaud them when they wear their toughness as a badge of honour? No! No more.

We are raising the future, and if we don't be a part of the change, then we will nurture another generation of problems. I never want any of my sons to feel that expressing their hurt isn't just as important as it is to express their joys. I never want them to feel as if they are forbidden to cry or to be vulnerable because that in itself is a sign of weakness. I never want them to feel like their emotions are limited to toughness and bravery.

My deepest wish is that my sons will never be afraid to express themselves and communicate effectively. I pray that they are never afraid to show their feelings. Piaget and Paidyn-Tyler will learn to work through their pain and take care of their mental health and physical health. The only way to teach them this is to be there for them and to be there, giving them complete comfort and support.

We practice love in our family and in our home by showing up, letting ourselves be seen and honouring vulnerability. We share our stories of both struggles and strengths.

As a mother, my commitment to these boys daily is to teach compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first and then with each other. We set and respect boundaries and honour hard work, hope and perseverance. Rest and play are regular family practices. We need to take on the responsibility to show up for our boys, we understand the weight of the world's concept as it relates to the masculine stigma as it pertains to boys and men, but we need to make it a point to stop endorsing it, and stop entertaining it.

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